


Love Me

by nullgrl



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hand & Finger Kink, Light Dom/sub, M/M, sub space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:53:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24794188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nullgrl/pseuds/nullgrl
Summary: Bobby's got a thing for Hanbin's hands. Specifically his tiny, chubby fingers.or: alternatively, Bobby likes to suck on Hanbin's fingers.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 18
Kudos: 60





	Love Me

The first time it happens it’s right after they lose in _Win: Who is Next?_ Bobby remembers the feeling of heartbreak and doom settling like heavy blocks against his lungs and making it just that much harder to breathe. He hugs his teammates and also the opposing group, because no matter how much he envies them for debuting, there is also a sense of admiration he holds towards them and he wishes them the best.

That doesn’t mean he’s feeling okay. The drive back to the dorm is filled with heavy silence, their work didn’t pay off enough for them to have been chosen as the next boy group and everyone feels it sitting heavy in their bones. Hanbin hasn’t said a thing since they left and entered the van, Bobby wants to comfort him as a hyung and as a best friend, but he’s afraid of being rejected. He knows how Hanbin can get, he’s going to beat himself over this and never forgive his mistakes.

Bobby keeps an eye out on him, tries to comfort the two younger boys with Yunhyeong. Jinhwan has that serious expression on his face that makes them all back off from their eldest teammate and since Hanbin doesn’t seem to be in the greatest position to be a leader at the moment, it’s up to Bobby to make them feel a sense of normalcy even though they feel like their world has fallen apart.

It takes a toll on him. Putting up that front and holding Donghyuk, telling him they were great – _he_ was great. Junhoe looks like he’s moments away from crying again and Bobby has to whisper to their maknae that they’ll all reach their dreams soon, _together_. Yunhyeong helps too, sending Bobby watery smiles while he pats the two younger boy’s heads.

When they reach their dorm, everyone falls into their beds, limbs heavy with exhaustion. Jinhwan says something to the younger ones in a low voice, whatever it must have been it seems to have loosen up the tension on their shoulders. Then he’s off to his bed and eventually everyone follows. No one bothers showering or changing out of their clothes, they slip off their shoes and cry into their pillows.

Bobby doesn’t want to do any of that. He doesn’t want to lie on his bed awake with his mind reminding him at every moment that maybe if he’d done just a little bit better the people would have chosen them. It feels unfair, to have worked so hard, spent sleepless nights writing and producing with Hanbin, dancing until they felt like they’d melt into the floor just to not have won.

Bobby clenches his jaw and holds back his tears. He’s got his teddy, Pooh, clutched tightly in one hand. The fur patched and rough in some parts from time wearing it down. He closes his eyes, feeling that emotion that overtakes him when he’s feeling especially down and emotionally drained. _Not now, please not now._ This hasn’t happened in years, he needs a distraction, something to divert his mind from going down that particular road.

The distraction comes in the form of Hanbin.

Bobby notices the younger boy standing in the hallway that connects into their tiny living room. The dorm is muddled in complete darkness, the only source of light are from the clocks and tiny flashes of light plugged into the wall courtesy of Donghyuk and his fear of the dark. Bobby doesn’t feel startled as Hanbin stands still; he can feel his gaze burning where Bobby’s body is slumped against the old couch.

“Hey,” Bobby’s voice is rough, from the rapping and screaming or the sobs he tried hard to hold back, he cannot tell. But it hurts to speak, his brain feels like it’s stuck in a thick fog with his memories and thoughts blurring into messy words.

Hanbin moves, his silhouette gliding through the darkness towards where Bobby lies. Bobby ends up closing his eyes, it’s not like he can even see him. A warm body presses close against his as they settle into the couch, a hand grazing over his sensitive skin.

“Hi,” Hanbin finally says. His voice floats between the air they share. Bobby opens his heavy lidded eyes, it’s still too dark to fully make Hanbin out but he can see a soft smile grazing his lips. It makes Bobby feel better, makes the fog turn into something softer.

“You good, hyung?” Hanbin sounds worried. Bobby frowns, wanting to get rid of the concern in his voice. Hanbin has bigger things to worry about than Bobby’s feelings and thoughts. He should just let Bobby wallow in his self-pity. He was supposed to make his family proud, his mother feeling an immense amount of love towards him for being a winner.

Instead he’s gone off and disappointed everyone. Including Hanbin.

“I’m sorry Hanbin-ah,”

“What?”

It’s dark but Bobby can clearly see the frown painted across the harsh features of Hanbin’s delicate face.

“What are you sorry for hyung?”

He’s closer now, his hands roaming over the smoothness of his skin. Bobby gulps as he feels Hanbin’s small palm graze his cheekbones, chubby fingers sloping the curves of his nose and tracing the way his lips pouted.

Bobby shrugs, “Not good enough, I guess.”

Hanbin hums, his breathing is even and slow. It’s soothing for Bobby, who feels like he’s coming short of breath. Hanbin’s fingers stay outlining the thickness of his bottom lip, almost as if painting a gloss over them.

“No hyung, you were good. So good up there.”

It’s slow, the world must have come to a stop. Bobby’s grip on his Pooh loosens up just a tad at the same time his lips fall open under Hanbin’s soft touches. Hanbin has tiny hands, it’s something Bobby has always liked to tease Hanbin about. Unlike Junhoe’s skinny long fingers and Jinhwan’s stubby ones, Hanbin’s got chubby fingers that Bobby secretly admires. Those hands have held the many of pens and pencils that have helped put down the wondrous words Hanbin’s written. His fingers have typed and clicked away on laptops and computers when composing the songs.

Those hands are miracle workers. And Bobby cannot help but fall for them.

Hanbin is still humming, the huskiness of his voice is a soft background noise against the sirens going off in Bobby’s head. He chooses to ignore them and focus on the way Hanbin has slowly begun to sink a finger inside of the wet heat from his mouth.

“You were amazing hyung, a shining star.” Bobby sighs softly at Hanbin’s words. He thinks he should be freaking out, but instead he feels like he’s on cloud nine. Hanbin sinks his pointer finger deeper into his mouth, tracing the bumps of his teeth and the velvety-ness of his inner mouth.

A second finger is added, “Open up, hyung.” Bobby obediently does as he says, his mouth stretching a little more open to accommodate the second finger. 

Bobby sucks on them diligently, he scrapes the shadow of his teeth over the pads of the two fingers and swirls his tongue against the knuckles. Soon there are three fingers, his mouth opened wider and saliva beginning to spill past the openness of his lips.

“Yeah hyung, you’re doing great for me. So good for me, Bobby hyung.” Hanbin’s voice sounds like a growl from his inner fucking soul. It makes Bobby shiver and mewl into the fullness of his mouth.

Hanbin has somehow stuck all his fingers inside and Bobby keeps on sucking. His fingers taste like sweat and something that must be Hanbin. The pads of the middle finger and pointer finger tickle his throat which makes Bobby open his mouth as wide as he can and raise a hand to push Hanbin’s hand further in his mouth.

“Fuck,” Hanbin swears into the darkness. “Holy fuck, Jiwon.”

Bobby’s gag reflex opposes the intruder. Bobby can feel his cock straining against the seams of his tight jeans and there is a hardness that pokes his thigh from Hanbin. The image of Hanbin’s hard-on makes Bobby more determined to stick Hanbin’s entire fist into his mouth and for his fingers to dig deeper into his throat.

“How are you even breathing?” Hanbin’s voice is laced in awe, Bobby wishes he could see the emotions that must be racing over his eyes and face.

“Mhm,” Bobby tightens his legs to relieve some of the pressure between his thighs. Two of Hanbin’s fingers have slipped past his gag reflex. There are tears, hot and fat, dripping past his cheeks. “Shit hyung, I wish I could see you.” Bobby whines from the roots of his throat, making the fingers vibrate and shake slightly against the walls of his throat.

Hanbin growls again and sinks another finger past his throat. A hand flies up to clamor Hanbin’s arm, a warning that – for now – this is all Bobby can take.

“Shh, it’s okay hyung.” Slowly, like it began, Hanbin starts to thrust his fingers back and forth. Bobby has to breathe through his nose, one hand on Pooh and the other on Hanbin’s skinny arm. His cock feels like it’s going to explode any moment now so Bobby relaxes into the couch and imagines the facial expressions Hanbin must be making.

It’s the image of Hanbin on top of him with his fist sinking inside of him that results in Bobby’s pre-death.

Bobby comes, Hanbin following him.

Throughout their orgasm, Hanbin never once removes the fist. He waits until their come has begun to drip down their thighs and dries up. With a carefulness that not much people know about, Hanbin begins to unravel his fist from Bobby’s mouth until it’s only two fingers on the tip of Bobby’s tongue.

Before they fully leave, Bobby nips at the pads and gives it kitten licks. Something of a promise to Hanbin that he liked this and wanted it again.

“Good boy,”

\\\

The second time it happens he’s won _Show Me the Money_.

Hanbin hugs him tightly backstage, his arms wrapped securely around Bobby’s shoulders and whispering words about how proud he is. Bobby doesn’t get to spend too much time with him since his mother finds him soon after. Bobby spends his night with her, and the morning after, and the entire week. He’s so happy, so proud of himself for making his mother shine in pride.

She cries when Bobby gives her the money he won, “I love you so much, son. You are my great pride; you’ll make it far sweetie.”

Her words stick to him like honey dripping from the honeycombs. It tangles itself into Bobby’s soul, makes him feel a warmth that spreads through his entire body which makes his toes curl. When he goes back to the dorm he’s celebrated by his friends, being hugged left and right. He’s got Junhoe and Yunhyeong cuddle up between him, their bodies fuming the warmth inside him further.

By the time it’s time for him to fall asleep in his shared dorm with Hanbin and Junhoe, Bobby can feel his body burning like a furnace. Junhoe is snoring lightly and his even breathing soothes Bobby into that lullaby foggy warmth that seeps into his mind when he feels like he’s too out of this dimension. The last time Bobby felt like he was in the living room feeling like the world he knew had exploded beneath his feet and he was floating in the cold abyss of space.

Now, he’s just won a title that so many others wished they could earn. This time he is soaring in space, surrounded by the fire of the sun and its adjoining planets. Bobby is flying in the blue sky with his heart spiraling into a hurricane that knocks down all the nasty thoughts and mean comments that were thrown at him since he started training.

When Hanbin enters the room, it is much like last time. He stands in the doorway, his body only a silhouette from the darkness. But when he finally steps inside, the light from the window that seeps in cool light of the moon shines over Hanbin’s figure. The younger boy has a beautiful smile lighting his features and it makes Bobby further sink into this warm and peaceful mist that plagues his mind.

“Hanbinnie,” Bobby whispers with a giggle.

“Jiwonie,” Hanbin returns. He looks up to see the bunk bed on top and sighs happily when he sees Junhoe asleep peacefully. Hanbin settles into Bobby’s side, sinking into the mattress and embracing the heat from Bobby.

“You’re a winner, hyung. My winner.” Much like it was in the past, Hanbin’s fingers begin to crawl over his face. It rises goosebumps over his arms, his shoulders heighten upwards at the skittish way Hanbin’s fingers skirt over the perimeter of his face. Short fingers trace his strong, protruding jawline and over his high cheekbones.

“Jiwonie was so hot on stage, I was jealous of the way everyone was eyeing you.” Hanbin leans down and sticks his tongue out to trace the silhouette of his lips. Bobby opens them, sucks on Hanbin’s tongue and lightly tracing the muscle with his crooked teeth. This is new, Hanbin has never kissed him. It’s been hand-jobs in the bathroom and rutting between practices. Sweet kisses fluttering past sensitive necks and hands sinking into throats. But there hasn’t been kissing.

Bobby finds that he likes it. Maybe a little too much for he whines when Hanbin moves away and rolls them both over so Jiwon is on top of Hanbin.

“I wanna try three fingers today. Is that okay with you baby?”

Bobby nods excitedly.

Hanbin hums from beneath him and sits up to lean against the wall. “Turn around.” Hanbin commands. Bobby scurries to face away, sitting his butt down where Hanbin’s hard dick presses into the light fabric of his joggers.

“Lean back,” Hanbin pulls him into his chest, Bobby placing his head between the crook of Hanbin’s neck and the slump of his shoulder. “There we go, just like that.” Hanbin presses a soft kiss to Bobby’s forehead, “Sweet boy.”

Bobby sighs contently, then opens his mouth just slightly. Hanbin’s tiny, short fingers find themselves sinking in and in. Deep down. Hanbin’s other hand maneuvers Bobby’s head to sink lower so his neck protrudes and his adam’s apple bobs. Two fingers are in Bobby’s mouth, flicking his tongue playfully and nails that scratch his velvet soft walls. Hanbin begins to rock upwards and in tiny twirls against Bobby’s ass. Bobby trembles in the euphoric high, he feels like he’s melting into Hanbin and his fingers.

“Relax your throat,” Bobby does as he’s told. It’s difficult to do it at first, he doesn’t know what relaxing his throat entails because he does it and when Hanbin sinks the tip of his pointer finger Bobby chokes it back out.

Hanbin shushes him, “Lie down instead, maybe that’ll be better.” His voice is so quiet in the silent room that Bobby has to strain to hear the whispered words. He settles his body on top of Hanbin’s legs, his head pillowed on Hanbin’s lap. It’s a bit uncomfortable with Hanbin’s erection poking his head, but then Hanbin is slipping two fingers in his mouth with no warning and Bobby forgets about being comfortable.

One finger sinks further, tickling the opening of his throat and making the walls constrict in on themselves. Bobby sighs heavily through his nose before he sinks deeper in Hanbin’s lap and opens his throat for the finger. It sinks in, Hanbin’s fist stretched obscenely past Bobby’s pouted lips, stretching them wide in a thin line. Bobby’s teeth graze Hanbin’s knuckles as a second finger is added while Hanbin’s pinky begins to trace his back teeth. It tickles and makes Bobby tighten his throat around the fingers which makes Hanbin in turn groan a little too loud.

“Fuck, how do you do that hyung? You just open yourself up so wet for me.” Hanbin begins to thrust them in and out, his hand cramping from its position but never stopping until he think’s Bobby is ready for the third finger. “Touch yourself,” Bobby doesn’t even need to be asked twice. He’s got a hand wrapped around his dick in seconds, the head wet with his pre-come and veins popping out around the shaft.

When the third finger expands his throat, Bobby tries to flee his hand out of his pants to hold and clamp Hanbin’s arm. But Hanbin is quicker to respond, “I said touch yourself,” and pulls Bobby’s hair hard. Bobby whines, spit dripping down his chin and beneath his neck. It should be disgusting, but Bobby finds all the filthiness to be hot.

Bobby tightens a fist on his blankets and the other on jerking off his hard dick. Hanbin keeps one hand in his hair, massaging his scalp and whispering dirty words about how he’s such a good boy and the way he swallows him down. It’s difficult but Bobby finds the perfect time to breathe and when to swallow as Hanbin’s ring finger finally slips with the other two fingers.

There are three thick and short fingers down his fucking throat, Bobby can feel the nails scrapping his heart for fuck’s sake.

“Oh my god, oh my fucking –“ Hanbin’s voice has gone breathless, “Bobby! Your neck, fucking hell, _your neck_. I can see my fingers,” Hanbin presses his knuckles upwards and comes hard in his pants when his middle finger is outlined perfectly on Bobby’s neck.

Bobby feels the wetness seep from Hanbin’s pants and follows through, the fingers wiggling in and out as he orgasms like never before. When Hanbin slips the wet hand out he traces the hand over Bobby’s slacked features. The act is completely filthy, his saliva being swirled over his cheek and Hanbin’s fingers tracing circles around the area his neck had the shadow of Hanbin’s middle finger.

“You are amazing hyung, holy shit.” Hanbin laughs, tugs Bobby upwards and presses soft kisses over the skin wet with his spit. They should get up and change, probably shower but they feel too sleepy and dream-like to get up and do all that. Hanbin slips into sleep first, cuddled into Bobby’s side all warm and flushed.

Bobby is about to float into sleep as well until his eyes open wide and shock and the fog in his mind dissolves when he realizes that Junhoe stopped making any sort of noise a while ago.

( _The next morning Junhoe can’t look them either in the eye. Hanbin doesn’t notice how the youngest boy bites his lips and avoids staring directly. It makes Hanbin scold him during practice because he keeps messing up his part. But Bobby can feel the awkwardness between them grow further every time they lock eyes in the mirror._

_“Hyung,” Junhoe says while Hanbin showers. Bobby freezes and gulps._

_“Yeah?”_

_“What were you and Hanbin hyung doing last night?”_

_The room next to theirs is loud with Donghyuk’s laughter and Jinhwan’s screeching of ‘be quiet!’ Bobby should have pretended to be asleep instead of answering the younger boy, Junhoe is still a teenager, fucking hell. Bobby is killing Hanbin._

_“Uh, nothing.”_

_“Didn’t sound like nothing to me,” Junhoe responds back. “Were you two fucking?” He asks unbashful._

_Bobby groans, “Junhoe, go the fuck to sleep.”_

_He hears the younger snicker, “It’s okay hyung, it was kind of hot.”_

_“Junhoe! You’re 17! Go to sleep.”)_

\\\

In between debuting finally as a group of seven and known as iKon and also with promotions for the debut album, Bobby has fallen into that stressful environment where he doubts everything about himself. 

He keeps it a secret though. Now that he’s in a boy group officially, their PD has strictly let it be known to them that each of the members need to take roles. And Bobby falls under the _harsh-bad-boy_ category. It means he can’t really show his soft side, not yet at least. Their fairly new, he’s won _Show Me the Money Champion_ title – Bobby cannot under any circumstances show too much weakness. The kind of weakness and vulnerability that makes him curl into his bed late at night when Hanbin is busy in the studio.

Junhoe tries to make him feel better, but ever since that incident where Junhoe heard how Bobby can become a completely different person with a few words of praise and sinking fingers, Bobby feels out of place with the younger boy. So Bobby has no one to rely on to make that stupid ball of invisibility stuck in his mind go away. Pooh used to help him out, anchor him to the little things that were going on around him. But then Hanbin had come like a tornado and swept it all away with tiny, chubby fingers that look so adorable in their sweater paws.

Through the time since _Mix & Match_ and their first single being released, there has been occasions – and plenty of them too, because their young and horny – just like the time in the living room couch and in their room. They’ve been more careful, Bobby paranoid, but it feels good to relieve some of that tension away through a powerful orgasm and Hanbin stuffing his cock instead of fingers down his throat. (Bobby has gotten pretty good at that and now Hanbin pushes him down on his knees whenever they have alone time.)

This is how the first time it is completely non-sexual happens.

Bobby is going to cry. He really is. His mother’s birthday is coming soon, they have to perform new songs and remind the world of K-pop that they can do this, and it has all crumbled up into a bout of frustration since Hanbin keeps getting mad with the team for every mistake made – but especially with Bobby.

Bobby is not known for his clear head. He’s hot-headed and stubborn. Mix that up with Hanbin yelling at him, the stress of not seeing his family a lot, and every other insecurity that has been building up inside of him equals for bad recipe.

“Bobby! If you aren’t going to put any effort than you might as well just leave the rest of us who actually want to practice.” Hanbin has turned around after another unsuccessful dance practice routine. He’s got that angry, blank expression on his face. His lips are downturned and his face is flushed from frustration. Jinhwan and Yunhyeong keep looking from Hanbin and Bobby, waiting for one of them to explode. The younger ones shift uncomfortably, sweat building up over their foreheads.

“Maybe if you weren’t just thinking about your _own_ failures the rest of us wouldn’t have to keep working. They’ve done their part, but it seems like the supposed leader of the group can’t get his own steps right.” Bobby grabs his hoodie from the couch and doesn’t look back as he leaves the practice room, making sure to shut the door extra harsh.

Once he reaches outside, walking towards their dorm rooms, the embarrassment of his actions catches up to him. Bobby kicks at the scattered rocks from the sidewalk, he thinks about going back and apologizing to them and especially to Hanbin. He shouldn’t have said those things to the younger boy, out of them all, Bobby has seen the way Hanbin obsesses over the mistakes he makes and the mental beatings he has with himself when one of them gets in trouble.

By the time he’s reached their dorms, Bobby rushes into his room he shares with Hanbin and Junhoe. There are articles of clothing splayed across the floor, shoes placed beneath the beds and empty cartons of take-out food from previous nights that Bobby should really throw out before they get an ant infestation. But he takes a look at Hanbin’s messily done bed and grabs his Pooh from his own bed before he curls himself into the soft covers of Hanbin’s single bed.

There is a warm body settled into the space that Bobby had left empty earlier. From outside the room he can hear muffled laughter and cries of excitement. Bobby blinks open his sleep-ridden eyes, the window is obscured with the shadow of the night, pale streaks of light from the evening shops surrounding the building they live shine through and alight the room.

Bobby turns around to find Hanbin looking at him, his eyes are soft and twinkling, lips turned upwards in a lax grin. “Hey cutie,” Hanbin says, leaning closer to give his nose an eskimo kiss.

Bobby breathes out through his nose. Pooh is squished between them, his face smushed into Bobby’s chest and his beady eyes pressing a little too uncomfortably for his liking. But he doesn’t want to move from where he lies, Hanbin’s got a warm, almost hot hand that grips his waist. The younger man has his head settled into the palm of his hand where his elbow rests on the pillow but his eyes are strayed only on Bobby.

“What time is it?” Bobby avoids looking directly into Hanbin’s eyes. The guilt from the words he spoke aloud earlier are still chewing him alive.

Hanbin hums, shrugging his shoulders. “Don’t know. But it’s just you and me right now. _Alone_.” He wiggles his eyebrows all dorky and boyish.

Bobby laughs but it dies down pretty fast. Hanbin doesn’t look mad nor annoyed, in fact he looks completely at peace. His hair curls over his forehead and the sides of his face, tangling into his ears. He looks beautiful with the wash of light that slopes over his pale skin in the dark room. Bobby bites his lip, looking at Hanbin – this boy who has taken care of him and has opened his arms for Bobby and the wave of insecurities he hides behind aloof smiles and cutting words.

“I’m sorry,” Bobby presses a soft kiss to Hanbin’s chubby cheek. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

The softness in Hanbin’s face doesn’t go away, but his brows furrow in seriousness. For a while he doesn’t say anything, just keeps scanning over Bobby’s features. Bobby can feel himself shrink, shying away from the way Hanbin’s prying eyes look like they want to devour Bobby in every sense of the word. He reaches for his Pooh, but a hand grabs his wrist wistfully.

“You can talk to me about anything, you know that right hyung?”

Bobby gulps, his eyes wide as they glance from the fingers wrapped around his wrist to Hanbin’s laser-glare eyes.

“Yes.”

Hanbin nods. “I accept your apology, but next time please come to me and tell me what’s bothering you. Yeah?”

Bobby sighs, “Okay.”

“Good,” Hanbin hums. Then there’s a smile spreading across his lips, “Let’s go eat.”

During their late dinner Bobby is drowned in teasing words laced with compliments and warm touches. Chanwoo keeps curling his head into Bobby’s neck and Yunhyeong runs his hands through Bobby’s soft hair. Before they’re off to sleep and rest after a long day, they all decide on watching a movie. Junhoe puts on Monsters Inc, something lighthearted for them all and a bit of nostalgia to remind them of their youth. Hanbin curls himself into the corner of the couch and soon finds himself with a lapful of Bobby. A blanket is pulled over Bobby, keeping him warm from the cool a/c of the living room.

Hanbin keeps sending him his weird, awkward winks every time Bobby glances up at him. It makes Bobby grin all toothy and butterflies flutter up in his stomach. The way the blue tint of the movie playing on the television pours over Hanbin’s skin is ethereal and makes the younger boy look like he isn’t of this world. Bobby can’t help but wonder how he got so lucky with meeting this boy and getting to kiss him every night.

Bobby finds himself reaching for Hanbin’s hand, intertwining their fingers and squeezing the hand hard. Hanbin laces them together and rubs a thumb over Bobby’s knuckles with his eyes on the television. Bobby too has immersed himself on the movie, snorting when Mike Wazowski starts arguing with Boo.

And just like prior times, Bobby begins to drift off into a cloud. Sometimes that cloud is dark, grey, and heavy as it looms over his head and mounts him into a swirl of negative thoughts. But other times, like in this moment, that cloud is soft and fluffy. It’s warm and wrapping Bobby in the remembrance of the praises his best friends and the man he loves drown him in.

Slowly, and almost sub-consciously, Bobby brings their tied hands up and close to his mouth. His lips hoover over Hanbin’s fingers, pressing soft and light kisses over the warm skin. Hanbin doesn’t really react except to squeeze his hand as if reminding him he’s _there_ with him. Bobby’s eyes droop as the animation plays on and he lifts some of the fingers to press wet kisses on the pads of them.

It’s like Hanbin is tuned to Bobby. The reaction is immediate as Hanbin loosens his grip and starts to teasingly twirl his fingers across Bobby’s pouted bottom lip. Bobby turns those soft, droopy eyes on Hanbin but the younger boy keeps his gaze diligently on the movie. Bobby pouts and tenderly bites on Hanbin’s pointer finger which elicits a small laugh from him.

When Bobby turns his attention back to the part where they lose the child, Hanbin’s finger presses against Bobby’s crooked front teeth. It’s like a switch is turned on in Bobby, except this time there is no urge of needing to touch himself or the usual hot liquid warmth that pools beneath his pants. This is new.

Bobby opens his mouth and welcomes the intrusion of the first finger. He suckles on the pad and traces his teeth over the first digit. No one pays them any mind, and Hanbin doesn’t really do much either. It’s like as if in that moment it’s only Bobby. The angle must be a bit painful since Hanbin switches the pointer finger over his thumb. Bobby accepts it easily and suckles on it while the movie plays, his body relax against Hanbin.

That is how he spends that night. Warm all over and light-weight on happiness. Throughout the movie Hanbin switches fingers and sometimes even stuffs in three of them so Bobby’s mouth is full and heavy. At some point before the movie ends Bobby drifts his eyes over the members and finds Junhoe staring at them with curiosity clear in his eyes. Bobby feels himself jerk, but Hanbin is faster and only pulls out two fingers and keeps the pointer one inside. Bobby sighs through his nose and only relaxes when Junhoe turns away.

When they each go off into their dorms to sleep, Bobby climbs into Hanbin’s bed. He doesn’t feel like doing much except keep those chubby fingers in his mouth so as soon as the lights are off and Junhoe gives them a very pointed glance, Bobby grabs and snatches Hanbin’s fingers and just stuffs the whole hand he can fit inside his mouth. Hanbin giggles, tickling his throat and tugging at his tongue.

“Get more rest, hyung.” Hanbin presses a kiss on his forehead, and Bobby closes his eyes to a dreamless sleep with his mouth fully stretched.

\\\

Perhaps the most memorable moment for Bobby is the first time they have sex.

They’ve jerked each other off in showers and behind closed doors. Hanbin will go down on Bobby and Bobby will suck Hanbin off whenever they have free time. One time Hanbin presses a light finger over Bobby’s hole while Hanbin whines and rides his thigh. But they’ve never done the whole intercourse thing.

Mostly because Bobby is scared. And he thinks Hanbin must be fucking terrified as well. Bobby has been in relationships before, he got his first handjob when he was fourteen in the locker room at his high school with a girl. That is really all Bobby has had experience in. It wasn’t even that good of a handjob – too sloppy and dry for his liking. But at least he’s had some sort of familiarity with sexual acts.

Hanbin, on the other hand, is as much as a cherry as it comes. He’s never kissed a girl, he’s never touched a girl, he’s never done anything with a girl. His childhood was based on improving his skills and working hard as a trainee. Also, there’s the whole _I’m doing this with another boy_ thing going on. As far as Bobby knew, he didn’t think he was gay. There never really was an instance in his life where he found men attractive until he met Hanbin.

But having grown up in the United States, Bobby was introduced to a diverse set of individuals. So Bobby at least isn’t panicking too hard. Hanbin, though, the poor dude must be avoiding thinking anything about that particular train of thought. They have never sat down to talk about what they were to one another or honestly about anything of what they’ve been doing.

Bobby thinks they should probably talk about it soon, but he’s never been known for using the few brain cells he has so he keeps coming up with excuses to not say anything. And they should especially have said something before they started to strip clothing off from one another during a trip in Japan for their concert tours.

They’ve got individual hotel rooms, kind of small with a bed that was prepared for one person. But that isn’t much of a concern when Bobby had knocked on Hanbin’s door and somehow found himself pressed against Hanbin’s chest and his arms wrapped around the leader’s neck as their tongues collided.

Bobby doesn’t expect for anything to escalate besides a handjob and then napping. But Hanbin is a box full of surprises. It’s not much later that Bobby is spread naked on the bed, his entire body engulfed in flames that spread goosebumps over his skin and makes his thighs quiver. Hanbin is above him, his eyes glaring holes all over his body.

“Pretty,” he says in that breathy, husky voice that sends Bobby soaring high up the clouds. He writhes against the sheets, his entire body hot, hot, hot as Hanbin runs a hand from his skittish neck to his perking nipples and finally to his dick. A hand wraps itself around it, much cooler compared to Bobby’s temperature. Bobby whines and bites his lip as he grinds into the fist.

“Hanbin-ah,” Bobby sighs, “Please.”

There’s a smug smile on Hanbin’s pretty lips, “Please what? I know you’re there. You can tell me using words.”

Except Bobby doesn’t want to use words. He feels vulnerable as it is, a little bit scared, but more horny than anything. Actions speak louder than words, Bobby will just have to do that instead.

He reaches a hand for Hanbin’s palm, curling his fingers over his wrist and guiding the hand towards Bobby’s lips. Hanbin reacts immediately, his pupils dilating as he delicately runs a smooth tip over Bobby’s lovely pouted, swollen lips.

“I’m gonna finger you nice and slow,” Hanbin sinks in two fingers inside Bobby’s mouth. “Get them wet for me baby.”

Bobby sighs around the fingers, running the surface of his tongue over the curves and contours of Hanbin’s tiny, cute fingers that he has memorized. He knows every pattern, every smooth edge of them, and he knows that Hanbin especially likes it when Bobby scraps his teeth over the knuckles. Bobby pays attention to Hanbin’s hard and leaking cock, jutting and a pearl of pre-come dripping down the veiny and red erection when Bobby moans aloud and makes a loud sucking noise.

“You want me to fuck you, hyung?” Hanbin suddenly plunges his entire fist inside Bobby’s mouth. The older boy chokes as he widens his eyes and bucks his hips towards some kind of friction. “Would you like that Bobby? My cock filling you up and my fingers fucking your throat?”

Bobby cannot concentrate. He thinks Hanbin is talking or maybe that’s just his mind playing games. The edges of the world are blurry and everything feels too light for him. He can’t breathe, it hurts to breathe and exhale through his nose, but _fuck._ Fuck does it feel fucking amazing to feel all of Hanbin’s pretty, tiny fingers and his entire fist stuffed deep in his mouth and tickling the narrowness of his throat.

“Relax hyung, I’ll take care of you.”

Bobby slowly flutters his eyes, pliant beneath Hanbin’s skinny frame and whining when Hanbin begins to remove his hand. “Shhh, I’m going to fuck you now, okay?”

Bobby blinks, Hanbin’s voice sounds huskier and deeper than he’s ever heard before. “I need you to say it Jiwon, tell me it’s okay to fuck you.” A hand, the one that wasn’t in his mouth, smoothens the lines of tension that had just barely been about to form.

The words take a while to register, but Bobby latches onto the warmth from Hanbin’s voice and the heated skin that is flush against his.

“Please Hanbin,” Bobby gulps as he gazes into Hanbin’s eyes, “Please fuck me.”

He’s in and out of it. Bobby hears the sounds of a bottle cap opening, then Hanbin whispering soft words. A finger presses lightly against his ass, the other hand guiding Bobby to spread his legs wider. Bobby feels so exposed like this, showing Hanbin his most intimate parts, but something in showing Hanbin a part of himself he’s never shown before makes him feel so powerful.

There is a dynamic of raw power in how Bobby completely trusts Hanbin and how Hanbin treasures that trust. Bobby anchors himself on that thought, sinks it into his mind when he feels the finger finally intrude the ring of muscle. It’s uncomfortable, Bobby scrunches his nose at the unfamiliar intrusion and whines.

“Does it hurt?” Hanbin asks, his face pinched in worry.

Bobby frowns as Hanbin takes the finger in deeper, “No.” He wants to say more, tell Hanbin that it feels really weird and maybe he doesn’t want to do this. But the words don’t come out, they stay stuck in his throat.

Hanbin nods, his adam’s apple bobbing. Bobby reaches to grab the arm that is rubbing soothing marks over the inside of his thighs. Hanbin sends him a nervous smile when Bobby squeezes his forearm lightly, he appreciates the reassurance. Slowly, Hanbin begins to move the finger in and out, a smooth transition thanks to the lube and the relax stance of Bobby.

  
“You’re being good hyung, so open for me.” Hanbin leans down to press a soft kiss inside his thighs. Bobby feels the tension from before of his discomfort swiftly shrivel away from his bones, he lapses into the softness of Hanbin’s hotel bed, the sheets and their coolness, the a/c that rings really loudly. Suddenly, the finger begins to feel good. Hanbin has thick fingers and when the second one is added Bobby begins to feel the hot liquid heat that pours downwards.

His cock, which had become half-hard from the uneasiness, is throbbing and standing proudly. “ _Ahhh_ ,” Bobby airily breathes out. Hanbin scissors him open, his fingers fucking in and out of Bobby’s wet hole. Bobby arches when the middle finger rubs over something, it’s not intense because the finger only skirts around its edges but it’s there. The electrifying feeling that courses throughout his body and makes him grind into the fingers.

“Oh fuck,” Hanbin _growls_. He snarls from deep in his chest when his eyes begin to trace away Bobby’s pliant body. This man who has been through so many hardships from his early childhood to the nasty comments some people leave about his supposed lack of talent or how he isn’t good looking enough. Hanbin calls bullshit on all of that because Bobby is filled with so much talent and masterpieces he is bursting through the edges of his soul with it. The way his body is curved is godly, Hanbin doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything more beautiful, more ethereal.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers to him and the smile, the bright grin that blooms over those swollen pouted lips that Hanbin is fucking crazy over is absolutely stunning. “Fucking beautiful Jiwon.”

A third finger sinks in with the others. Bobby arches his back and pushes his hips towards the thrusting movements of Hanbin’s fingers. There is a sheen of sweat that glows over Bobby’s body, the veins of his arms protruding as they fist the bedsheets, and his abs shifting in the shadows of the dimly lit hotel room. Hanbin is having trouble breathing, feeling dizzy as he _inhales_ Bobby.

He needs to be inside of Bobby, physically and mentally. Hanbin needs to connect with Bobby and fill him up with nothing but care and love. Because Hanbin is in love with Bobby and he wants to take care of the person who has been with him through the ugly and the good.

“Hey,” Hanbin removes the fingers and huffs at the desperate whine to _not_ do that. There is a deep red flush painted over Bobby’s milky skin, the yellow light of the lamp smoothens his skin further and highlights his cheekbones and his straight nose with its cute rounded tip. Hanbin swipes away Bobby’s bangs from his sweaty forehead, the older boy keeps his eyes focused only on Hanbin. “I’m going to love you, okay?”

Bobby nods, “Okay.”

Bobby keeps his eyes closed, centering himself on the noise of the condom package being ripped and then rolled onto Hanbin’s dick. There’s the slick sound of lube and Hanbin jerking off, his groans vibrating off the walls and sinking into his bones. He opens his eyes, slowly, the world coming to a slow stop. His hands fists the sheets, fingers curling into the silkiness of them as the head of Hanbin’s cock sinks in.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Hanbin is cursing every bad word Bobby has ever heard. It’s a mixture between Korean and English, his voice breathy and heavy. Bobby’s mouth opens gradually, his neck curving upwards from the pillow as Hanbin’s thick cock delves deeper into him. It hits Bobby then, the train of thought crashes and then the only thing Bobby knows is _Hanbin, Hanbin, Hanbin._

This is a feeling too overwhelming. Bobby can’t stop moaning, his hands grabbing Hanbin’s arms that are on either side of his shoulders. When Bobby looks up to stare at Hanbin the younger man has his face shaped into pure euphoria. Bobby feels like his breath has been taken away. Hanbin’s jaw hangs open, a vein popping out from the side of his head, his black curls falling messily all over his face as he furrows his brows and scrunches his nose.

“Feels so good,” Hanbin never knew Bobby could be this flexible. His legs are completely bended over the small of his back, his nails keep running over and over his back when Hanbin finally sinks fully in. He can’t believe he’s one with Bobby. The heat feels so fucking good and the tightness that surrounds his cock is unbelievable. He needs to write a song about this, about Bobby’s velvet smooth walls, the way his ass clenches around his cocks as if shaping its shadow to always remember the feeling.

Hanbin slowly pulls out, only going mid-way before he plunges back in deep and hard. Bobby is on ecstasy when Hanbin does that. He repeats Hanbin’s name again, over and over. Fucking back and meeting each thrust that Hanbin gives him. His whole body shivers and a scream is pulled from his throat when Hanbin grazes that spot, that one place which has Bobby floating in space with Hanbin inside him.

Hanbin’s hands is suddenly gliding over his lips, “Open up.” He demands, thrusting his fingers into the wet, silky warmth of Bobby’s mouth as he measures it with each push of his cock sliding inside of Bobby.

Bobby frantically reaches for his dick, beginning to jerk it off as he leans his head upwards to get more of Hanbin’s hand inside. He’s gotten used to the feeling of Hanbin’s fingers prodding into his throat. Hanbin loves seeing the shape of them, tracing the pattern of it with his eyes. It’s a lot more difficult to concentrate on that though, so Hanbin settles on fucking his fingers in and out of Bobby’s mouth while he fucks Bobby at the same time.

“I love you, Bobby.” Hanbin blurts out.

Bobby hears those four words loud and clear, breaking past whatever glaze his mind was filled with. His heart lurches, throat constricting around the fingers and tightening around Hanbin’s dick as he feels his orgasm take over. Thick, clear come spurts out from his dick and his eyes roll back.

Hanbin shouts a curse, his hand slipping away from Bobby’s mouth as he fucks him faster. He feels the roots of his orgasm wanting to burst, his eyes are shut tight and all he can think about is Bobby.

“Hanbin, I love you too.”

Hanbin comes hard, shivering and shaking with the powerfulness of his orgasm. Bobby, though feeling the discomfort of overstimulation, milks Hanbin through it. Mostly because the idea of clenching and unclenching around Hanbin’s fat fucking cock while coming into the condom is really hot. He says as much to Hanbin which results in the boy laughing and slapping Bobby’s ass. “You’re so romantic hyung.” He takes the information of how Bobby moaned pretty and airy when he slapped his ass for another time.

Bobby tries to catch his breath, he still feels stuck in that cloud, but it feels more like a fog. Down to earth with Hanbin, swirling between them. Hanbin slips the condom off, falls onto the bed with his bones feeling like jelly. He can’t even begin to express what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t think he has to. Bobby sleepily blinks as him, his grin is gentle and tired but as he snuggles into Hanbin’s neck and presses a kiss to his jaw, whispering, _thank you_ , Hanbin feels at peace.

Bobby knows they should talk about this, but right now all he wants to do is sleep.

And also suck Hanbin’s fingers until he floats into the blank dream state. Which is exactly what he does.

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it this far, please know that i appreciate you a lot! seriously, i do. i spent a whole month trying to write this. if you want to hear more about me you can follow me on [tumblr.](https://beyondthesuga.tumblr.com/) thank you for reading <3


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